Fiesty Old Women

One of the things I look forward to the most about growing old is the fact that, as an old woman, you have leeway to say and do pretty much whatever you want. Seriously, think about it. How often do you hear some outlandish remark made by an old woman and then people turn to each other and say, "Well, she's an old woman- she can say whatever she wants!" It's true; if I ever said some of the things my grandmother says, I would have either a) received "The Look" from my mom as she glared me down, knowing that once we were in private, my impending doom would await me or b) heard the infamous, "Do you want me to smack you in front of God and everyone in this ______(fill in blank)? Then knock it off!"

Yes, I'm definitely looking forward to the day when I can be like this woman who called into the Ellen show: