My Irrational Fear

My friend Erin recently posted about a particular one of her 'irrational' fears. I thought the subject would make an interesting post, so I stole her idea. Seriously, I steal a lot of blogging ideas from Erin, so you should check out her awesome blog, Losin' It.

I don't necessarily consider myself a fearful person. I'm not afraid of heights, bugs, airplanes, water, dying, or change. I am slightly claustrophobic, but not enough to truly cause panic attacks (that is, unless I'm at a hotel in Bucharest in a tiny shoddy elevator that makes scary noises and jolts from one floor to the next- that was a panic attack in the making. Always take the stairs in Eastern European countries, friends- always). I do, however, have one fear that is simply ridiculous, but that still gives me the willies every time. Some of you know my highly irrational fear already, and some of you don't. This particular fear of mine is better understood with visual aides to further the understanding process. Bear with me now, it's a little confusing to explain, and it's not a 'normal' fear, which is why I'm pretty embarrased about it (more so than my paranoia of Elmo, but that's another story) and consider it irrational (as I'm sure you will also).

I first realized this fear in seventh grade while reading my science textbook. I can handle blood and guts and gore (although I'll pass on those horror movies, thankyouverymuch), and I can even watch most scenes in all the medical dramas and documentaries (okay, the needle going into the eye was a bit much, House), but there is one facet of the medical world that makes me want to vomit each and every time I see it. I refer to it as:

The Cartoon Like Drawings (with Repetitive Aspects) of the Human Body

I know, I know. You're reading this and thinking, "Seriously? Did I really just read that? What on earth is she talking about and why is she afraid of it?"

Allow me to explain. For some reason, I can handle the authentic pictures of capillaries, arteries clogged by cholesterol, different organs, bones, and the like, but once the information is conveyed in a cartoon-like illustration, I find such pictures extremely disturbing. Case in point:

Here is a perfectly acceptable picture depicting what happens when you have too much "bad" cholesterol in your arteries:



No problem- rather interesting, in fact. Kind of gross to sit an meditate on, but at least it gives you some motivation to not want that in your body. Now, here is an unacceptable picture depicting the same thing, but in a cartoon-like drawing:



Gag. Gag. Gag.

Even worse is when the repetitive aspects of the pictures are more pronounced, such as in the following pictures of skin cells.





Seriously, I had to cover my mouth when I was uploading these pictures. I'm getting phobed out now just thinking about it. Honestly, I have no idea from where this fear came, and I have no idea how to treat it. The best I can do is to simply avoid those illustrations as much as possible. Luckily, my current job working with refugees does not require me to encounter such illustrations on a regular basis. But if I ever start focusing more on medical social work...I am definitely going to need some form of treatment.

So now that I've confessed that I can't remember my age half the time and that I'm terrified of 'cartoon like drawings of the human body', do you all think I'm completely nuts?